Parent+in+Prison+Family

"These children have committed no crime, but the price they are forced to pay is steep. They forfeit too much of what matters to them: their homes, their safety, their public status and private self-image, their primary source of comfort and affection. Their lives are profoundly affected…" -Nell Bernstein

__Description __ Families who are dealing with the burdens of a parent in prison have a lot on their plate. These families face many difficulties that not only place stress on the other parent, but on the children as well. Experiencing the absence of a parent is something that unfortunately, many children have to deal with. In trying to cope with the temporary loss of a parent feelings of fear, anxiety, anger, sadness, depression and guilt may arise in children.



__Common Problems __
 * Financial Difficulties || Financial pressures – such as debt and low income status, create financial strains that place the family under even greater pressure as they cope with the re-adjustment of a parent in prison. Financial pressures may affect previous commitments to children’s activities and daily routine such as pocket money, clubs or treats.

Brenda Simms-Cox is raising her six-year-old daughter Asia while her husband serves his prison sentence in Washington, D.C. She shares, "We are barely making ends meet because of the high telephone bills." ||
 * Parent-Child Relationships || The incarceration of a parent usually means considerable distance from the child, which can have a grueling effect on the parent-child relationship. Communication between the parents and their children is both challenging and important to the well-being of the relationship.

Simm-Cox's daughter has had difficulty adjusting to the separation as well. She says, "My daughter is miserable and she has asked for her father every day since he has been gone. She does not understand why he can't come home. Often she cries for him, especially when there is a holiday or her birthday comes around." ||
 * Emotional, Social & Behavioral Issues || Research shows that children whose parents are incarcerated are not only exposed to more risk factors but are also more likely than other youth to have behavior problems. In addition to behavioral problems, young children may have emotional and may perform poorly academically.

Emotional, social and behavioural reactions can include: ■ Hyperactivity ■ Becoming quiet and withdrawn ■ ‘Acting up’, with caregivers as a result of parent’s absence ■ Shyness with parents during visits ■ Depression ||

__Statistics __ __﻿__ __Parents __ Parents who are in prison need to be aware of the effects that prison life can have on their children.
 * * It is estimated that between 2 and 5 million children have a parent in prison in the country and over 10 million kids have experienced the incarceration of a parent at some point in their lives.
 * 1 in every 28 children in the US has a parent behind bars
 * Children of prisoners are 5x more likely to go to prison themselves than other children.
 * The nation’s prisons held approximately 744,200 fathers & 65,600 mothers at midyear 2007.
 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">When it's the father in prison, 90% of the time the child stays in the mother's care. || [[image:missingParent.jpg width="102" height="167" align="center"]] ||
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 110%; text-align: center;">NRCCFI at FCN is the oldest and largest organization in the U.S. focused on children and families of the incarcerated and programs that serve them. This website serves as a great tool for different resources, articles, facts, mentoring programs for children etc. I encourage you to check it out. ||
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 120%; text-align: center;">[|http://fcnetwork.org/] ||

**<span style="display: block; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 140%; text-align: center;">7 Things You Should Know about Children with Parents in Prison **by Dawn Pugh
 * 1 ** . Open and honest communication about the where the absent parent is. Children often listen to adult conversations and this may lead to anxiety. Allowing children to ask questions can help reduce their anxieties. It is often a great relief for children when they know where the parent is.

** 2 **. Prepare your child for each step of the prison sentence. Explain what happened in the arrest, trial, and parole, this can help the child understand what is happening to their parent and can help to minimize fear and anxiety.

** 3 **. If at all possible encourage the child to visit their parent in prison, seeing the parent in prison can be an important and positive event for the child. Seeing the parent safe can reduce anxiety and provides an opportunity for them to have physical contact from the parent helping them to feel loved and nurtured.

** 4 **. Encourage letter writing and other communication if allowed. The parent in prison can describe a typical day, what he eats, what jobs the prisoners do, etc. These should only be described in a neutral and non – threatening manner to the child.

** 5 **. Seek support for yourself and your child. Find ways to reduce your stress levels such as exercise, eating well, developing hobbies and getting involved in community activities together.

** 6 **. Talk with the school psychologist, counselor or social worker about the situation. Let your child’s teacher know that one parent is in prison so that he or she can be sensitive to the issues facing your child at school and these can be monitored.

** 7 **. Let children be children. Get support from other adults who can help you to deal with your feelings, stress level, loneliness, and fears, rather than relying on your children to take care of you.



__<span style="color: #800080; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 140%;">Students __ ====As a group, these children who are or have experienced the incarceration of a parent are //far less likely to succeed in school// and more likely to be a part of substance abuse, gangs, early pregnancy and delinquency. However, students who can identify at least one adult in their lives that they trust, are less likely to engage in risky behaviors than those who cannot. That's where the teacher steps in as a stable, trustworthy person that children dealing with situations like these can turn to when they are feeling hopeless, sad, troubled, and confused.====

<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"Children go to school and can't focus on what they're doing, and their grades begin to drop...School personnel may feel that their behaviors are symptoms associated with ADHD; however, it could also be depression." (Dr. Janice Beal)

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<span style="display: block; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 130%; text-align: center;">[] ||
 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 110%;">These websites offer a variety of books for children/students that are going through life while a parent is in prison. Reading books like these may help with the daily struggle of missing their parent and better understand the situation. ||
 * <span style="display: block; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 130%; text-align: center;">[]
 * <span class="bookTitle" style="color: #16c1c3; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">For example, in the book, __A Visit to the Big House__ <span style="color: #16c1c3; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;"> by Oliver Butterworth (ages 4-8) Rose and her younger brother visit their father in prison. Their mother explains that he "took something that didn't belong to him" but that he is not a bad person. The prison visit is sad, but the children are reassured that their father is being treated humanely and is still part of their family. ||

__<span style="color: #800080; display: block; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 140%; text-align: center;"> Tips for Teachers __ =<span style="color: #16c1c3; display: block; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 20px; text-align: center;">Remember, it is not your job to fix the problems or situations; it’s an opportunity to show that someone cares and there is another way. =
 * Provide consistent reassurance. Let them know you understand that they miss their parents.
 * Listen. Talk to children if and when they want to.
 * Helping a child begins with relationships! A very powerful tool to help children heal from traumatic events.
 * Encourage the parent to use the communication lines available to keep in touch and check in on their child.
 * Treat the child just like any other student, the last thing they want is special treatment and to be singled out.
 * Just by being a presence in their lives can greatly impact the courses they choose.

<span style="color: #800080; display: block; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">__<span style="color: #800080; font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif; font-size: 20px;">Sources __ [] [] [] [] [] [] [|www.mnsecondchancecoalition.org/pdf/**Families**OfIncarcerated.pdf] [|www.barnardos.org.uk/pp_no_8_when_a_**parent**_goes_to_**prison**.pdf] [] [] []

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